Multidimensional drama-comedy examines the multiplier effects of divorce
The end of a marriage inevitably affects a wider group of people than the divorcing couple. The tighter lives are wrapped around each other, the more likely it is that other relationships will also become entangled in the breakup.
In the play Dinner Among Friends, Risto Kaskilahti, Pihla Penttinen, Carl-Kristian Rundman and Ursula Salo play two couples who have been good friends since they were young and over the years have welded into a close foursome. When one of the couples unexpectedly announces their divorce at the beginning of the play, the friendships also begin to falter.
Divorce forces you to weigh your own values and think about many questions: Who can be who’s friend? What does a friendship last? How will life go on from now on?
“The text nicely crystallizes how harsh the reflections of divorce can be and how it can generate aggression, anger, disappointment or bitterness in another group of people who are not divorced,” says Rundman.
Through the play, you get to examine the reflections of divorce from many different perspectives. It’s hard to avoid a breakup in life, because even if the breakup hasn’t happened to you, it’s probably close. That is why the fate of a character in a play must surely be recognised.
“This is a declarative text in the sense that it tells a story without being for or against anyone. Every viewer can identify with and expand their understanding and empathy for what the other side might have,” says Penttinen.
Laughter behind serious topics
Although the focus is on the heavy and difficult questions about the end of beloved relationships, the play also has comedic features.
However, Kaskilahti says that the comedy did not seem very obvious at first. The first time I read it, I only got a few smiles. The reading rehearsals brought more tones, smiles and light laughter, but the fun of the play was only discovered during the rehearsals.
“The comedy is not directly in the text, but in the fact that, for example, in a relationship or other challenging conflict situation, unreasonable things come out of the mouth,” Kaskilahti clarifies.
In some scenes of the play, people behave cruelly and even absurdly towards others. Laughter is born through relatable situations. According to Rundman, the recognition surface brings us to the ultimate task of theatre, which is to show the mirror to the audience:
“It’s a terribly strong and even therapeutic moment if you can see yourself or a familiar situation from the outside in the performance. It can have a cleansing effect.”
Thoughts on divorce
Salo describes the play as ageless, as its themes, themes and events are not tied to time or place. She says that the play is like an onion, from which new situations, tensions and perspectives have constantly emerged during the rehearsal process.
“In the rehearsals, we have laughed, been moved and talked a lot about how it has resonated with everyone’s own life. Oh, if only I knew how to nurture and nurture love in both friendships and relationships, and remember its power and value, especially when coping with everyday life and work threatens to take you away,” Salo ponders.
Divorce affects many relationships around you, so it is important that all parties are heard, seen and, above all, understood.
“Life is cruel in this area as well, and we should try to understand people’s solutions. They are not worse people, no matter what the solution is,” says Kaskilahti, whose character is unable to accept his friend’s decision to divorce.
The play also shows how important it would be to be able to talk honestly about difficult issues. Often when problems in relationships are related to not knowing how to talk or not feeling it important.
“Often, in problem situations, an evasive manoeuvre is made at the very moment of talking, citing tiredness or fear of misunderstanding or abandonment. The courage to talk about important and even difficult things is a struggle that runs through life. The ability to listen and speak are great skills, and luckily both can also be practiced,” Salo says.
“The couples in the play have terribly similar starting points, and yet only one of them has found the desire and some way to stay together. You can always find a perspective through which to look at or understand the other person, even though sometimes it’s good to know how to break up,” Penttinen says.
Ida Henritius